02 September 2016

Police Reports Come In Threes

Tonight's episode of Nate and the Phoenix PD takes place at the intersection of 27th Avenue and Glendale at approximately 20:45.

Nate is sitting peacefully at a red light in the beige rental GMC Acadia he acquired while his truck is getting $5515.91 of repairs completed from last week's uninsured drunk motorcycle hit and run, wondering if the settlement check from the vehicle break in at South Mountain four weeks ago has arrived. He is headed southbound in the curb lane. The exact color of the Acadia is still out for debate, but clearly "gold" is wrong by everyone's standards but Nate's.

The light turns green and the late model Chevy Malibu in front of Nate begins to enter the intersection. Nate hesitates to go since there is clearly a pedestrian in the opposite crosswalk who has not completed the transaction. The Malibu moves forward through the intersection business as usual.

Kindly follow Nate's thought train below as he watches the Malibu:

1/4 through the intersection, approximate speed 5 mph: "Clearly this person will see the woman wearing all black at night walking slowly right in front of him and slow down."

1/2 through the intersection, approximate speed 10 mph: "Why is this person continuing to accelerate, and why is the woman not trying to get out of the way?"

3/4 through the intersection, approximate speed 15 mph: "It's possible this person has zero intention of stopping. This woman is in imminent danger if the there is not an immediate change in trajectory."

4/4 through the intersection, approximate speed 20 mph: "It's obvious this person did not apply the brakes until after this woman was lying on the ground. That was a loud crash. Am I the person who is responsible for calling 911 and filing a 3rd police report in 4 weeks? Is she alive?"

Rather than proceeding through the intersection only to block traffic and further aggravate the situation, Nate makes an immediate right into the Circle K and runs across Glendale to the heart of the incident.

By this time, the driver has helped the woman onto the sidewalk, returned to his vehicle, and fled the scene. Nate describes the accident to the 911 dispatcher and hands his phone to another witness who describes the suspect whom Nate did not see.

The overall collective effort was futile at best. Police and paramedics arrive. Nate finds relief in the fact that the victim's missing arm and general lack of mental acuity were preexisting conditions. He gives a brief statement and returns to his temporary vehicle. The woman claims she broke her leg and is transported from the scene in an ambulance.