25 September 2015

Tonight on Uber: The Secret Menu

scionTwo employees Uber’d their way home from the Stand in Arcadia. With all restaurant workers, I genuinely and enthusiastically ask them what the best item on the menu is. There is no better way to find delicious food than straight from the folks who make it.

With tight lipped hesitation resulting from a implicit blood-endorsed non-disclosure agreement, one passenger alludes to an item that isn’t on the menu.

Unabashedly, I probe for more specifics on this and other “secret menu” items. Nobody ever said uncovering Phoenix would be easy.

The passenger proceeds to describe a few options in delicious detail. Eagerly, I ask how to order one particular item later deemed the 36th St. Style Nachos (or Fries). He obliges, knowing full well that my stomach’s happiness is far more important than his first born child.

“However,” the passenger continues, “most of the employees don’t even know what the secret menu items are or how to make them. It’s always confusing when people actually order them. We always have to ask a manager how to ring it up too.”