Community for the Long Haul

In the midst of chaos and frustration, Nate escapes to one of his favorite Phoenix getaways. Hiking through the moonlit mountains late at night, an idea comes forth – an idea which may or may not warrant serious consideration. The concept of communal living has ambiguously woven its way in and out of his mind over time. Tonight, the concept is powerful and articulate.

The city is irrelevant, but a fun one is advisable. Start by taking a group of friends who are intentionally committed to living life together for a significant portion of time. A length of time where parents can look back with their kids and recount memories from decades past. This group of friends will choose relationships over promotions, consistency and deep roots over the next big break. Everyone contributes – their talents, their times, their uniqueness. No freeloaders allowed.

Find a neighborhood with modest homes in close proximity – homes with room enough for large dinner tables, basic needs, and nothing more. One person, the ringleader of the crew – so to speak - steps up and manages a pool of shared resources. Everyone contributes a bit financially and has access to those things that waste space 355 days a year in garages across the country.

Without the need for space to store  6 snow blowers, 3 trucks, and 12 crock pots, homes become smaller, mortgages cheaper, and A/C bills lower. Travel increases, fun multiplies, and free time expands. Time to pursue dreams. Time to enjoy family and friends. Time to be creative. Time to explore passions. Nobody worries about their empty homes or pets, because in a sense, they are common and cared for.

It is understood that homes are communal – invitations unnecessary. Meals are shared together. Nobody drives to one another – just eats, drinks, and rejoices merrily, regularly. There need not be a special occasion to see your good friends but three times a year, but rather three times a week. A signal could be put in place to protect private times of fighting or fucking – a classy version of the sock on the doorknob.

This social construct inherently fosters deep rooted relationships simply due to repetition and transparency. The fruits may not happen right away, but after five, ten, fifteen years, the players look back and say “damn, this is really, really awesome”.

Driver for Hire

Recently Nate has started to engage with the people of Phoenix in a whole new way. Working as a driver for Lyft and Uber, Nate navigates the streets of Phoenix, never knowing who may get into his passenger seat next. Each encounter has been a unique and special experience. Whether or not this business endeavor is profitable is moderately irrelevant – the real profit is human engagement in it’s most raw forms. Together for 10 to 30 minutes at a time, likely to never see each other again, the consequence of opening up is minimal at best.

In any given night, Nate may entertain a lobbyist from Washington in town to advocate for international humanitarian issues at 9:00 PM, then three far-too-post graduates headed home at 12:00 AM to do some coke and get laid by tonight’s lucky winner on a random weeknight. What is most striking to Nate is that these stories reflect the true nature of these individuals’ character. These stories are thoroughly engrained, and despite their perceived shock factor, there is no shock factor RELATIVE TO THE STORYTELLER’S PARADIGM. Each person tells their story with true authenticity and a straight face.

It has been truly enlightening to observe where people are in life – how they view relationships, work ethic, God, money, time, and social status. Nate has never intersected so many different types of people in such a concentrated period of time. Even if he had heard of such things, he always truly doubted whether or not they existed. They do. They are in full force. In some ways our society is far more advanced than it ever has been – perhaps too advanced. In other regards, people continue to embody primitive human instincts that date back centuries.

Will Nate remember each story in great detail three years from now? Likely not. Is there merit in posting each encounter on a semi-real time basis? At the risk of sacrificing presence for a written product, no. Documenting individual cases also hints at jeopardizing the authenticity, as well as creating implicit mockery at one person’s specific circumstance. That is by no means the intent.

The intent is to track how Nate will learn push his own understanding of human nature through themes extracted from the driving process as a whole. How will Nate learn to authentically engage with people he would never encounter under any other normal circumstance? How can Nate have an impact on each passenger and make their day a little bit better after a ride across town?

Lastly, Nate has learned that he can learn far more about life by listening to people from other walks of life speak authentically for 10 minutes than he can from any textbook. Each person has purpose and experience worth knowing. People love to talk about themselves – and hopefully by extending an invitation to do so, those people will realize their own purpose as strongly as Nate observes from the outside looking in.

Milwaukee Musings

Escaping the hellacious summer heat of Phoenix, Nate found respite this early July in his all time favorite city: Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Now Milwaukee is not the city most people associate with an epic life of grandeur. Often hidden in the Second City shadow, responses to Nate’s Milwaukee love are fraught with confusion and skepticism. The long running nickname “Killwaukee” probably doesn’t help either.

Upon request, the following post will aim to articulate the beauty that lies within the bounds of this mysterious city.

The basics: Milwaukee is a city on Lake Michigan with a population of roughly 550k people. Far smaller than Chicago, the sense of community is strong and established. Milwaukee embodies the greater Wisconsin quality of genuine friendlies and the kindness of stranger. The neutral division of neighborhoods amplifies this communal quality, creating numerous small towns within the larger. From the south side neighborhood of Bayview, to the northern Riverwest, each area has a distinct architectural and cultural identity. One easily knows where they are and has a sense of belonging. It is easy to be content and have all the basic social and practical needs met within a tight radius. When boredom strikes, adventure is blocks, not miles, away.

The breathtaking beauty: Milwaukee county has one of the most extensive and interconnected park systems in the country. One park will consist of a sandy beach reminiscent of the Pacific Coast. A quick bike ride will take you through majestic Maple and Oak trees where green is the only color seen for miles. Not only do the parks exist, they are well utilized. Despite the brutal winter, Milwaukee is a very active community. Jealously abounded within Nate when he could not jump on his bike and hop on the miles long trail. The Milwaukee river teases the trails, creating easy access to water no matter where the path takes you.

The built environment: As an architect, Nate was awestruck by the extensive inventory of historic homes from the turn of the century. Generally speaking, no two homes look alike. The rich architecture has been preserved. As new development occurs, it does so gently and respectfully. Nature prevails in the midst of development, as most homes are tucked beyond canopies of trees.

The intellect: Despite the reputation of Wisconsin as a whole, Milwaukee is well rounded, diverse, and educated. Several thriving universities call Milwaukee home, leaving no shortage of interesting conversation. High quality local musicians thrive in the intimate scene, and have opportunities to perform that would never occur in larger cities. Because people are established, they are able to hone their craft, and each establishment and exchange is a piece of art, including the famous Milwaukee Art Museum.

The access: Although it would be completely sustainable to never leave the great city of Milwaukee, convenient opportunities to do so make it even more appealing. A short drive or train ride will take would be urban enthusiasts to the cultural mecca of Chicago. When complete, they can return home to their quiet Milwaukee neighborhood. There are many places in the greater Chicago area that have a longer commute to the city and steeper rents. An hour or two in the opposite direction leads to the north woods where some of the greatest camping and fishing can be found on secluded lakes too abundant to number.

The energy: Similar to Tucson, Milwaukee embraces it’s quirkiness and supports local businesses. The quality of food, coffee, and beer surpasses that of most cosmopolitan cities, without the hour long wait and intense pretense. People come as they are, live fully, and laugh frequently. Not a single person Nate interacted with wanted to leave. The lack of transience creates roots. Trees with established roots bear fruit. While comfortable in their own skin, Milwaukee still welcomes newcomers. It isn’t trying to be anything, it just is.

The Same, but Not Really

Driving through the mean streets of Glendale, Arizona late at night immediately triggered some feelings of youth for Nate. At those late hours nearly 12 years ago, as the intermediate signals flash red and yellow, with the windows rolled up and the music blaring, he would have been on the way home from Fountain Shadows after a night of shenanigans with Tiffani and Sean. Tonight he returns from Superstar video, a homebody depositing movies reminiscent of this very era.

As he experiences this season in Phoenix, however long it may be, juxtapositions of the old and new continue to prevail in a powerful way. These juxtapositions expose evolution, refinement, and a newfound appreciation of a childhood that was not as bad as the moment led him to believe. Sure things were not ideal, but are they ever, really?

The juxtapositions also illuminate the past in a way that makes Nate wonder why it wasn’t so crystal clear in the first place. To quote Dammit by Blink 182, “I guess this is growing up.”

Nate feels at home, but in a new a way, and realizes a lot of life has slipped in between his departure and return from Phoenix. The take away from this is an overwhelming sense of gratitude. He left a wanderlust teenager looking for trouble and returns an adult with a slightly increased amount of discernment. He drives around in his own car and, more noticeably, burns his own gas money. After a night at Metrocenter, he blasts down the Dunlap on ramp at the I-17, but for possibly the first time in his life, does not take the 27th Avenue fork to the old neighborhood.

Same, but not really. While he does not return to the old house and continues down the freeway, he finds himself, for possibly the first season in life, truly wanting to return to his roots, truly appreciative of where he came from.

He flips through the stations on the radio. He rocks out to Craven Morehead on Go Punk Yourself. The Edge is no longer. Christian and Country songs intersperse the familiar tunes.

Same, but not really. The palette is more expansive. The world has been seen – and rather than abandon the past like he had set out to do, the product is a balance of the old and new. Better together. The metaphor in this scenario is that Nate is not afraid to like beyond a contrived image of himself. Nate likes what he likes because he actually likes it – independent of the rest of the world. Screw ‘em.

He gathers at the George and Dragon with Randall and Su. The destination is new, but the friends are old and dear. Dad used to frequent the George and Dragon with his friends – a side of Dad that Nate heard about but never knew. For the first time in his life, Nate understands that his life and his father’s were more alike than he ever thought, and they likely would have truly enjoyed each other as adults. Sadness perks, and Nate mourns the loss of what he never had. Simultaneously, he is eternally grateful for dear friends, adopted fathers, and a God who was orchestrating this journey the whole time, a God Nate never knew back then.

Same, but not really. It is amazing how great the journey can be and how special places and people can be if there is enough room for God to work, and enough recognition that nobody but God can take the credit. It is amazing how great life can be with a grateful heart that forgives the past. It is also amazing how great life can be when the future does not rob from the present. Perhaps that is the biggest change – the future and past no longer overwhelm Nate’s present, at least most of the time. Does he have a general of sense of how things could have gone or could go? Sure. Does he spend every waking minute micromanaging and psychoanalyzing the plan, only to have it all blow up, and realize God’s plan was better in the first place? Man, is he sure trying. With each successful surrender, the days become sweeter, conversations deeper.

The place is the same, but the attitude and journey have evolved into something greater. Perhaps that is the point – it is not the place that makes or breaks happiness. While “place” is a prominent theme in this season of life, this story could be titled “Any City” Uncovered. It took leaving and coming back for Nate to realize this. Appreciate the past, take what has been learned, filter out the crap, express gratitude for joys celebrated and lessons learned, embrace the present, and hold hope in a God that has got the future covered.

Musings of a Wildcat

From time to time, Nate makes his way down to the good old Alma Mater, the University of Arizona. Last weekend was one of those times. It was graduation day, nonetheless. It is strange to be on the other side of the coin. Watching the future of America emerging from Main Gate is a scary thought when you hear phrases such as “he totally kicked his ass”coming out of the mouths of those in caps and gowns.

Not too long ago, Nate was one of these spirited individuals without care in the world except the details of last night’s party. While ass-kicking was not a part of his usual activities, there was something special about that season. All too quickly, life starts and many of the rituals that make college one of the most enjoyable and healthy seasons come to a halt.

For Nate, many of these adult transitions were subconscious. They were completely normal based on his now current circumstances.  His life looked like those of many people around him. He must be doing something right. Not necessarily.

It wasn’t until life began to feel broken, purposeless, and frankly, miserable, that he consciously began to analyze what was missing. He found that many of the lifestyle choices inherent in the college life are absolutely crucial to a vibrant life. The fact that they are compartmentalized and reserved for those glorious  five years is completely absurd.

While there may not be parties seven nights a week as reality sets in, there are still plenty of ways to re-integrate this lifestyle into adulthood.

Musing Number One - Happier people drive less: Without a car for much of the time in college, Nate was forced to walk, bike, or use the bus. By design, his life was limited to a small geographic area. He was in the best shape of his life and had more energy. Nate has found that cars come with far more costs than insurance and gas. Although driving may reduce travel time, the absence of a regular workout reduces energy, productivity and creativity, resulting in a net loss. By being intentional about geographic proximity to work, friends, church, and family, it is suddenly possible, even in Phoenix, to say no to the automobile more often.

Musing Number Two – Happier people have community: College is the epitome of social engagement. During college it was rare to eat dinner alone. Whether it was a deep conversation over quesadillas at Café Sonora or a group cram session that takes up more tables than is socially acceptable at the Grill during peak hours, fellowship was built in, easy, and frequent. There is less time to be sad or bored or lonely when these methods for engagement are available. Everybody hung out in everybody else's’ dorm room, and nobody cared how messy it was. Community simply happened. Working in a small office and living alone, Nate has to be extremely intentional about this musing.  Luckily church has been a great catalyst, and is one reason why the Christian model of life is so fulfilling.

Note: This musing dovetails nicely with Number One. By living in a small area, it is likely to see the same people repeatedly and build relationships. Once solidified, it is convenient and accessible to have dinner with them for no reason at all. It isn’t as easy to meet people while driving around in a two ton metal box of solidarity.

Musing Number Three – Happier people take risks: In college, almost everything is a new experience. Therefore, there is an inherent amount of risk just to survive on a day to day basis. Trying new things and taking risks becomes a normal mode of operation that isn’t so scary after all.  People go new places, try new activities, meet new people, eat new foods, all without batting an eye. Once graduation sets in, so do adult routines which can be rather mundane. Are the obvious mundane routines such as jobs only supporting more mundane “stuff “ that in turn restrict time and resources to create new experiences?  In college, there was no room and no money for “stuff”, but there was an abundance of an even greater commodity: time. By living a minimal life, there are far fewer obligations required to support the mundane, resulting in more space to live a riskier life.  The only difference in adult life may be the lack of a massive hangover.