The Same, but Not Really

Driving through the mean streets of Glendale, Arizona late at night immediately triggered some feelings of youth for Nate. At those late hours nearly 12 years ago, as the intermediate signals flash red and yellow, with the windows rolled up and the music blaring, he would have been on the way home from Fountain Shadows after a night of shenanigans with Tiffani and Sean. Tonight he returns from Superstar video, a homebody depositing movies reminiscent of this very era.

As he experiences this season in Phoenix, however long it may be, juxtapositions of the old and new continue to prevail in a powerful way. These juxtapositions expose evolution, refinement, and a newfound appreciation of a childhood that was not as bad as the moment led him to believe. Sure things were not ideal, but are they ever, really?

The juxtapositions also illuminate the past in a way that makes Nate wonder why it wasn’t so crystal clear in the first place. To quote Dammit by Blink 182, “I guess this is growing up.”

Nate feels at home, but in a new a way, and realizes a lot of life has slipped in between his departure and return from Phoenix. The take away from this is an overwhelming sense of gratitude. He left a wanderlust teenager looking for trouble and returns an adult with a slightly increased amount of discernment. He drives around in his own car and, more noticeably, burns his own gas money. After a night at Metrocenter, he blasts down the Dunlap on ramp at the I-17, but for possibly the first time in his life, does not take the 27th Avenue fork to the old neighborhood.

Same, but not really. While he does not return to the old house and continues down the freeway, he finds himself, for possibly the first season in life, truly wanting to return to his roots, truly appreciative of where he came from.

He flips through the stations on the radio. He rocks out to Craven Morehead on Go Punk Yourself. The Edge is no longer. Christian and Country songs intersperse the familiar tunes.

Same, but not really. The palette is more expansive. The world has been seen – and rather than abandon the past like he had set out to do, the product is a balance of the old and new. Better together. The metaphor in this scenario is that Nate is not afraid to like beyond a contrived image of himself. Nate likes what he likes because he actually likes it – independent of the rest of the world. Screw ‘em.

He gathers at the George and Dragon with Randall and Su. The destination is new, but the friends are old and dear. Dad used to frequent the George and Dragon with his friends – a side of Dad that Nate heard about but never knew. For the first time in his life, Nate understands that his life and his father’s were more alike than he ever thought, and they likely would have truly enjoyed each other as adults. Sadness perks, and Nate mourns the loss of what he never had. Simultaneously, he is eternally grateful for dear friends, adopted fathers, and a God who was orchestrating this journey the whole time, a God Nate never knew back then.

Same, but not really. It is amazing how great the journey can be and how special places and people can be if there is enough room for God to work, and enough recognition that nobody but God can take the credit. It is amazing how great life can be with a grateful heart that forgives the past. It is also amazing how great life can be when the future does not rob from the present. Perhaps that is the biggest change – the future and past no longer overwhelm Nate’s present, at least most of the time. Does he have a general of sense of how things could have gone or could go? Sure. Does he spend every waking minute micromanaging and psychoanalyzing the plan, only to have it all blow up, and realize God’s plan was better in the first place? Man, is he sure trying. With each successful surrender, the days become sweeter, conversations deeper.

The place is the same, but the attitude and journey have evolved into something greater. Perhaps that is the point – it is not the place that makes or breaks happiness. While “place” is a prominent theme in this season of life, this story could be titled “Any City” Uncovered. It took leaving and coming back for Nate to realize this. Appreciate the past, take what has been learned, filter out the crap, express gratitude for joys celebrated and lessons learned, embrace the present, and hold hope in a God that has got the future covered.

Musings of a Wildcat

From time to time, Nate makes his way down to the good old Alma Mater, the University of Arizona. Last weekend was one of those times. It was graduation day, nonetheless. It is strange to be on the other side of the coin. Watching the future of America emerging from Main Gate is a scary thought when you hear phrases such as “he totally kicked his ass”coming out of the mouths of those in caps and gowns.

Not too long ago, Nate was one of these spirited individuals without care in the world except the details of last night’s party. While ass-kicking was not a part of his usual activities, there was something special about that season. All too quickly, life starts and many of the rituals that make college one of the most enjoyable and healthy seasons come to a halt.

For Nate, many of these adult transitions were subconscious. They were completely normal based on his now current circumstances.  His life looked like those of many people around him. He must be doing something right. Not necessarily.

It wasn’t until life began to feel broken, purposeless, and frankly, miserable, that he consciously began to analyze what was missing. He found that many of the lifestyle choices inherent in the college life are absolutely crucial to a vibrant life. The fact that they are compartmentalized and reserved for those glorious  five years is completely absurd.

While there may not be parties seven nights a week as reality sets in, there are still plenty of ways to re-integrate this lifestyle into adulthood.

Musing Number One - Happier people drive less: Without a car for much of the time in college, Nate was forced to walk, bike, or use the bus. By design, his life was limited to a small geographic area. He was in the best shape of his life and had more energy. Nate has found that cars come with far more costs than insurance and gas. Although driving may reduce travel time, the absence of a regular workout reduces energy, productivity and creativity, resulting in a net loss. By being intentional about geographic proximity to work, friends, church, and family, it is suddenly possible, even in Phoenix, to say no to the automobile more often.

Musing Number Two – Happier people have community: College is the epitome of social engagement. During college it was rare to eat dinner alone. Whether it was a deep conversation over quesadillas at Café Sonora or a group cram session that takes up more tables than is socially acceptable at the Grill during peak hours, fellowship was built in, easy, and frequent. There is less time to be sad or bored or lonely when these methods for engagement are available. Everybody hung out in everybody else's’ dorm room, and nobody cared how messy it was. Community simply happened. Working in a small office and living alone, Nate has to be extremely intentional about this musing.  Luckily church has been a great catalyst, and is one reason why the Christian model of life is so fulfilling.

Note: This musing dovetails nicely with Number One. By living in a small area, it is likely to see the same people repeatedly and build relationships. Once solidified, it is convenient and accessible to have dinner with them for no reason at all. It isn’t as easy to meet people while driving around in a two ton metal box of solidarity.

Musing Number Three – Happier people take risks: In college, almost everything is a new experience. Therefore, there is an inherent amount of risk just to survive on a day to day basis. Trying new things and taking risks becomes a normal mode of operation that isn’t so scary after all.  People go new places, try new activities, meet new people, eat new foods, all without batting an eye. Once graduation sets in, so do adult routines which can be rather mundane. Are the obvious mundane routines such as jobs only supporting more mundane “stuff “ that in turn restrict time and resources to create new experiences?  In college, there was no room and no money for “stuff”, but there was an abundance of an even greater commodity: time. By living a minimal life, there are far fewer obligations required to support the mundane, resulting in more space to live a riskier life.  The only difference in adult life may be the lack of a massive hangover.

Honing A New Craft

As Nate continues his journey through Phoenix he finds rest and rejuvenation  in the most arbitrary of venues. The most recent – the backyard of his dear childhood neighbors. Real conversation was had – emotional, intellectual, and recreational. There was space to relax, and ponder, and articulate questions never before verbalized. The take away is, again, the reinforcement that more does not equal more.

This is why minimal living is so important to the journey in life. Minimalism is not simply the idea of purging your belongings. It is the idea that your belongings do not control your time, attention and resources. Without space in the calendar, and most definitely without space in the mind to engage, these relational dynamics would simply not be possible. Those who say they can truly be “present” while simultaneously poised with a Bluetooth headset and  playing Candy Crush are a mysterious bunch.

Last week, a career idea sparked. What if Nate could use his design and communication skills to help others embrace a minimal lifestyle so they can be rich in ways they have only dreamed about, ways that do not involve money, but time and relationships.  Whether or not this idea is really a “thing” is irrelevant. If Nate has experienced something so rich, how can he NOT share it with the world. Perhaps this is a consultant service. Perhaps this is a furniture assembly service. Perhaps this is a life coach. Perhaps it is a maid service. Perhaps it is a little bit of each. The concept is simple: use the available tools to facilitate a life where one thinks more deeply about less.

The next step is to continue to study, life, observe, and document these life choices as a tools. Simultaneously, the fruitful life should also experienced and documented so others may take notice and say, “he has something I want”. That is not to say that one has to do exactly what Nate does in the newfound free time. Quite contrary. The idea is that time and energy are present to embrace that which one is truly passionate about, amplifying our unique yet complementary God given talents and dreams. Then at night, one can truly rest, not consumed by appointments, finances, and “stuff”.

How to get this idea going is still in the works. After reading enough Acuff, this is the prime time for Nate to work out all the bugs and hone the craft – when nobody notices. He probably should not even be writing this blog for the world to see… but who really reads this thing anyway? This is just another step in the journey – practicing the documentation. This is why Nate needs to write. This is why Nate needs to take pictures. This is why the spark that ignited Phoenix Uncovered cannot be extinguished.

Life with Keys

As Nate has moved from place to place, to yet another place, and possibly seven more places over the last nine years, he has learned the importance of making things you do every day, multiple times a day, stress free.

It can be something as simple as keying all the locks on your house to the same key. He never knew what a difference it would make until he did it, had it, then lost it. Life with keys can feel overwhelming. There is a key to the entrance of the building, a key to the top lock, another key for the bottom. Then there is the ever so important key to the city from the mayor. That one is definitely a keeper. By the time all is said and done, overwhelming masses of metal overtake pockets and purses across the country.

Yes, it takes a little bit of cash and time to have a locksmith come out execute this task. If one goes the DIY route, there goes half a Saturday. This is an example though, of a little thing that gets put off day after day. It seems like no big deal, or is it?

Think of the time spent flipping through four pounds of keys to get into the house with an arm full of groceries, only to have the bag break and liquid Tide running down the stairs. Recall that moment of frustration and pain when those coffees catch up and bladder “control” is marginal at best. The train to relief is derailed yet again when the wrong key is jammed in the hole. It only looks ever so slightly different than the right key, but there is no time to compare key teeth patterns when explosion is imminent.

Imagine a life without a wrong key. Imagine a life where this routine sequence just works, every time, every day, with minimal mental exertion. Imagine how full the mental energy bank will be if it isn’t spent on trite sequences involving keys, junk drawers, or medicine cabinets. Whatever the analogous mass of metal may be, take the time and set it right, today. As the little obstacles in life begin to lift, the mind frees to think about family, dreams, and stuff that matters. One situation like rearranging the keys might not seem significant, but twenty similar situations quickly add up to a life of eating dinner at 9:00 PM, exhausted, with nothing of value accomplished. Start little, start anywhere, just start*.

*Nate has been inspired by reading a lot of Jon Acuff and Joshua Becker. Both are great resources to living a better life, and come highly recommended. 

Chandler

No, despite what the lack of activity suggests, Nate has not gotten lost in a vortex to another dimension. 

He did, however, geek out in downtown Chandler, Arizona for a solid hour with his camera, testing each and every setting. His love of exploring new places through the lens of photography had been forgotten in the midst of the previous years’ chaos. He also seems to have forgotten, ashamedly all too quickly, that the best evenings are often those which are unplanned.

While Phoenix has been an exciting place to explore, Nate has also realized he knows very little about many of the adjacent cities, each writing their own story. Yesterday’s quest for a truck took him a round-about way to downtown Chandler. He decided to park for a while at the new Peixoto Coffee. At this quaint spot, it is clear that the employees are living out many of Jon Acuff’s principles. They have found their passion and share it with the community. They focus on their craft intensely to create a richer coffee experience than you would find in any Starbucks across the country. If only Nate would care about anything as much as they care about coffee. It’s time for Nate to re-evaluate the bigger picture and determine if today’s steps are leading toward his passions.

The recent lack of writing indicates something is severely off course.

Yes, community has started to occupy his time. That is good. What about the other 50 hours a week? There has been nothing to report because his perspective has shifted away from that which he is passionate to that which is deemed necessary. Necessary by whose standards? Society? Others? His own false perceptions?

The light and texture found in the architecture of Chandler City Hall caused a spark . All of a sudden, it was okay, even necessary, to stop and observe, appreciate, study, and wonder. It was okay to spend enough time and energy on ONE thing, and execute it well. It was appropriate to intimately understand how one camera setting can effect the end product, and how they all work together. It was worthy of awe to stop and study something long enough to decipher what is the true essence to be captured.

The lessoned learned – it is going to take 150 attempts to get 3 really good pictures, if you are lucky. It is unrealistic to expect perfection to be handed to you as would a drive through order at Taco Bell. Good art takes the most precious commodity: time.

Each new opportunity and commitment punctures a small hole in his energy cup and withdraws from your time bank. When there are one or two, the pace of natural refill matches that at which it drains and allows time for rest. Once there are five, seven, or seventeen holes, suddenly that balance  cannot be sustained.

To quote Jon Acuff yet again, it is good to be reminded that “rest is not a by-product of your success: it is a by-product of your humanity”.

It is time to slow down, say no to things that don’t matter, and begin to live again.